Simple Things
by RedRose900
Summary: A year has passed since the rebellion, and for Katniss and Peeta Mellark life is good in District 12. But things can change with just the knock of a door... Peeta/Katniss Johanna/?
1. Getting By

When I stop to think about it one day, I'm actually surprised how much time has passed since the war. Just over a year. Three years ago I was just a normal girl living in the Seam, hunting in the woods with her best friend, trading at the Hob. That was before I was swept up into the world of the Games, the Capitol and the rebellion. Before I started a war. And now here I am again, back in District 12 living a simple life. And I've never been happier. Not since my first games at least.

It's not easy. God knows, it's a struggle. What with the nightmares, the flashbacks, the ghosts of people I've lost appearing in the back of my mind. But I get by. Holding Peeta's hand, I get by.

We got married 4 months ago. I'm not even sure how it happened. One minute we were sitting by the fire in his house, the next I'm suggesting we do the District 12 wedding ritual- the burning of the bread. I hadn't meant to make the suggestion, it had just slipped out, but the minute I said it and his eyes lit up I knew there was nothing holding me back. So we toasted the bread, and a part of me I never thought would heal did.

Since the war my mother has called twice. We usually don't say much. We were never close before and now without Prim to hold us together there is nothing connecting us. I called her myself a few weeks ago, to tell her I was married. After a few moments of silence she simply said "That's nice darling" before announcing that she had to get back to work. The hospital in District 4 apparently keeps her very busy, there's no time for her to gossip with her remaining daughter about her marriage. I can't blame her, keeping busy keeps the nightmare's away. My mother delivered Finnick and Annie's baby. A little boy with his mother's dark, tangled hair and his father's infamous sea green eyes. Annie sent us a picture, along with a note stating that Peeta and I were welcome to visit anytime we wanted and that she hopes we will be happy together. The letter came with a footnote from Johanna, addressed to Peeta saying that she expected him to send a supply of cakes because apparently "The food in District 4 is shit".

Peeta works in the bakery most days. It keeps him sane, like my mother he finds focusing on a task a good distraction from facing memories. I try to do the same, I hunt despite the painful memories holding a bow brings. Some days I travel further into the woods than I've ever been before. Without the threat of peacekeepers there is nothing holding me back. Besides, travelling to new parts of the woods means I can avoid my old hunting ground, the place where the girl with the bow and the boy with the snares used to be friends. Often I find relief in the woods, discovering new distances and catching prey. But most days, after I have ran through the miles of overgrown wood, relief comes when I reach the Victors village. Relief comes when I open the door to find him waiting. My husband.

We live in own contented little world, he and I. And Haymitch too I suppose, though he rarely leaves his house. Despite the fact that he can often be found unconscious on his kitchen floor, bottle in hand-he is still a part of the small, dysfunctional family I have built up for myself. The three of us, we get by. And like I said, we're happy in our own way. Sometimes it seems strange to think that over a year ago we were in a war, I was the face of a rebellion. Now life is peaceful, simple.

That is, until one afternoon when I am sitting alone in the kitchen-absently scratching Buttercups mangles ears- and I hear a knock at the door….

**To be continued probably over the next few days. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Silences

Beside me, Buttercup stiffens. We never usually get visitors. No one who knocks at least. Greasy Sae comes less often now that I can function for myself; she always let herself in anyway. Haymitch never knocks, never waits for an invitation to come in either. Mostly he just comes to raid our food supply and complain.

I go over to the door, Buttercup catching at my heels as I go. We're friends now I guess, as close as we'll ever be but that doesn't stop him from occasionally trying to scratch me. He never scratches Peeta, though he does follow him around the house admiringly. Buttercup seems to have decided that Peeta is his new best friend. Of course no one will ever replace Prim,- that's something Buttercup and I share- but the cuddles and scraps of food given to him by Peeta have softened Buttercups attitude somewhat.

I turn the handle and the door opens with a creak. At first, I think it's one of my muddled hallucinations when I see Johanna Mason standing on my porch. But sure enough there she is, wearing a tiny pair of denim shorts and an oversized lumberjack shirt with the top three buttons undone. A large holdall bag lies by her side. She beams when she see's me.

"Took you long enough, I was beginning to think you and Mellark were busy in the bedroom"

No "Hello", no "How have you been". And certainly no "Sorry for barging in like this". Not from Johanna.

"Sorry, I got distracted" I say. Why am I apologising? It's my house; I'll answer the door in my own time. I'm thinking of telling Johanna this but she's already strolled past me into the house, dragging her bag with her.

"The Victor's house's here are almost exactly the same as the ones from 7" she says, surveying the room. "Who knew?" she shrugs as I close the door behind me. Johanna's never been one for small talk and she's being strangely friendly-her unannounced visit has thrown me of guard.

"Johanna I haven't seen you in over a year" Her smile fades a little, or maybe it's a trick of the light.

"Yeah, I meant to come sooner. Annie told me you guys got married" I must have looked puzzled because she adds "Your mother mentioned it to her".

There is an awkward silence in the room; we don't know what to say to one another. Even when we roomed together in District 12 we never spoke much. Silence is often easier. But right now it's suffocating. I sneak a look at the clock, wondering how long it is before Peeta gets home and makes everything bearable. Johanna seems to read my mind because she asks:

"So where is you're husband? Don't tell me he's run out on you already" The old Johanna would have said this, and worse without a second of shame, but she accompanies this comment with a shaky laugh. She's unsure of herself. Even the way she's standing is different, her arms wrapped loosely around herself. It reminds me of the time she hesitated before going out in the rain in District 13. Part of me wonders what's bothering her, but I know she'd prefer if I ignored the change in her. If I know one thing about Johanna Mason it's that she doesn't want to appear vulnerable. She dropped that façade after her first games and never looked back. So instead of commenting, instead of offering words of comfort I simply answer her question.

"Peeta's at work, in the bakery…he'll be back soon" I say, heading into the kitchen and motioning for her to follow me. "Can I get you something to drink?" I ask

"Look at you; you're turning into a regular little housewife. Mellark's got you trained well" she says, taking a seat at the table. "I'll have water".

I can't help but smile at her comment. Often, while Peeta is at work and I've got back from hunting I find myself doing mundane tasks like dusting or gardening. It's a far cry from leading a rebellion.

**Sorry this chapter kind of sucked. The story will get better, I promise.**


	3. The Gentleman

**Hey, so the chapter after this one will be where things will really take off. These first few chapters are just the necessary build up. I'd love to hear feedback/opinions on what's been written so far and what you might think is coming next**

We each have a glass of water, both of which sit empty on the table by the time Peeta comes home fifteen minutes later. I know he's coming before he's even through the door, because Buttercup has a strange way of sensing Peeta's presence and leaps to attention as we hear his footsteps on the porch.

"Hey Kat" Peeta's voice echoes from the door. Johanna and I both stand up from our seats at the table as we hear him say "What's this bag doing in the hallway?"

"That would be my fault" says Johanna as we walk into the room "Sorry for messing up your house with my crap". My husband looks just as stunned at the sight of her as I was, at least I'm not the only one thrown off by this impromptu visit. He drops his coat on the floor as he crosses the room towards us.

"Jo!" he gives a half laugh as he suddenly pulls her into a hug. "Why didn't you say you were coming?"

"Thought I'd surprise you" she says as they pull apart. I stand quietly in the doorway while Peeta and Johanna have their little reunion. I've barely seen them talk before yet here they are greeting each other like old friends. I guess their time spent in the Capitol's cells must have counted for something. But he called her "Jo", something I've never heard her addressed as. It's like when he calls me "Kat". Does he have special nicknames for everyone? The sound of Peeta's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I curse myself for being to immature over a nickname that means nothing. Peeta's aloud to have friends right?

"Are you going to stay…Stay with us" Peeta is saying enthusiastically. "We've got plenty of space"

"Are you sure, I mean I don't want to interrupt the honeymoon. I don't want to walk in on you guys doing anything" says Johanna slapping him playfully on the arm.

"It's fine honestly. It'll be great, right Katniss?" Peeta asks, speaking to me for the first time since his homecoming. I notice his arms are still wrapped around Johanna.

"Finally noticed me have you?" I feel like saying. But I don't, so instead I turn to Johanna with a smile and say "We'd love to have you".

Perhaps my smile was too over the top, and perhaps Johanna can see through my mask because her voice is shaky again when she replies

" Ok…..I guess I can stay for a few days. I came out here to get away from things so I guess staying with you two would be better than renting a room. Does District 12 even have a hotel anyway?"

"We don't get many tourists" I say with a small smile. The only people here in District 12 are those who lived here before the bombing. And now I guess Johanna too.

"I didn't think so" she says with a flash of her old personality.

Peeta shows Johanna to one of our guestrooms, graciously carrying her bag upstairs for her. She's managed to bring it all the way from wherever she's come by herself, so I see no reason why she wouldn't make it up our staircase. But she lets him carry it and smirks when she calls him a gentleman.

The three of us sit out on the back porch as the sky darkens. Peeta brings out some glasses and bottle of red liquid. Johanna raises her eyebrows as he hands her a glass and pours.

"You trying to get me drunk Mellark?" she asks.

"It's berry juice" I cut in, accepting my glass from Peeta as he sits beside me. "Haymitch has all our alcohol"

She nods in understanding and takes a sip of her drink, before pulling a grimace.

"He should have taken this too, it's disgusting"

Isn't Johanna a pleasant house guest?

When the sky becomes completely black and the owls begin to hoot in the trees, Johanna pulls herself out of her seat.

"I'm going to go to bed now" she says, stretching. "I'll give you two lovebirds some privacy" she smiles and then winks at us. And then just before she reaches the door she stops and says

"Thanks…for letting me stay"

"It's no problem" I say, at the same time I here Peeta say

"We're happy to have you".

Johanna nods once and then goes indoors. I wait until I hear her go upstairs before turning to Peeta questioningly. I'm surprised to see he has the same expression on his face.

"What is she doing here?" he asks. It's not accusing. Peeta is never accusing, or rude. He likes everyone, even Johanna Mason apparently.

"She said she wanted to get away from things" I say, leaning back to he can wrap his arms around me like he does at the end of everyday.

"She seemed fine the last time she called, but that was about five month's ago." he comments. This is news to me.

"You've been talking with her?" I ask. I try to keep my voice casual but he knows me too well. He smiles and runs his hand through my hair.

"Well you never answer you're phone, so she called me to check up and make sure you and I were still alive. The last time we spoke was when she called from the hospital to say little Finn had been born"

I had assumed Peeta had learned of Finn's birth through Annie's letter. The one that came with the picture. But for now I focus on the first part of what he has said.

"She was checking up on us?" I ask. This seems out of character for her. But then again maybe I never knew the real Johanna. I only met the messed up version from the Quarter Quell arena, the version damaged by the Capitol. I have no idea what she's like underneath the sarcasm and aggression. Perhaps under all that, she's still the little girl with the ribbon in her ringlets who cried during her tribute interview. Maybe, just maybe, all of that was less of an act than she let on. These few days will be my chance to work it out. I'm willing to give her a chance. After all, isn't that what we were all fighting for? A chance to change things.

Peeta's hand is still running through my hair. Soothing me like he does after a nightmare. Not that today's been like a nightmare, it's just been slightly strange. But then again there's always tomorrow.


	4. Hangovers and Hidden Things

-Haymitch's POV

Why is it always too bright in the mornings? Maybe if I hadn't torn down my curtains the light would be bearable, but I guess it's too late to bother about that now. My head is pounding, probably due to the hangover and the fact that I spent last night asleep on the kitchen table. Wood doesn't make for comfortable bedding. Even mahogany.

I sit up on the table and survey my kitchen. There's no food in the room. Normally the boy comes over early and drops off some things from the bakery. Most days I don't eat it anyway. Not everyone likes bread as much as he does.

From my post I here the noise of my door crashing open. The boy doesn't normally crash. He's more of a polite knocker. His "wife" on the other hand is much more likely to force her way into my house. I can't imagine why she'd want to talk to me this early in the morning. Or at any time for that matter. Sweetheart and I haven't exactly spoken much since the rebellion.

I try to push myself off the table, ready to face the intruder but instead I slip and land on the ground. I guess the drink caused my limbs to forget how to work overnight. And it's there, lying on the ground that I hear a voice I hadn't expected to hear again.

"God you're attractive when you're drunk"

"I'm hung over actually" I say as I steady myself against the table and stand up.

Johanna watches me with raised eyebrows. Her hair has grown back in waves down to her shoulders and she looks like the old Johanna again. Except instead of being decked out in the Capitols fashions she wears denim shorts and an over sized shirt. She sets one of the boy's fresh loaves down on the now vacated table.

"Don't tell, you got lost on the way back to District 7?" I ask her. She smirks.

"District 4 actually, there's nothing to do in 7"

"And there are things to do in 4? I thought it was just fishing and sunbathing they did there"

"Babysitting" Johanna says, taking a seat at the table. "You know Annie had a baby right? Or have you been passed out since the last time I saw you".

The last I had seen her she'd yelled at me over Odair dying and slapped me in the face. But I'm willing to put that in the past

"You can't drink when you're unconscious sweetheart" I tell her, raising my empty bottle in a mock toast. "Drink?" I ask her, but she shakes her head. This, I realise, is the first time I've seen Johanna Mason pass up a drink.

"You gave me my first whisky" she muses. "Remember the first year I was a mentor, you handed me a glass and told me to thank you later"

"Which I recall you did in my room later that night" I smirk, and she swats my arm.

"Don't flatter yourself old man, I did a lot of stupid things back then-including you"

"Twice" I say, holding up two fingers.

Johanna flops her head onto the table in exasperation. I move to stand behind her. My headache has eased slightly, and I can think clearer.

"What are you doing here Jo? I'd never have thought District 12 would be on your list of places to visit"

"Visiting" she mumbles into the table. I scoff.

"Visiting who? Katniss? In District 13 you told people you would cut her braid and, I think, her limbs off if you were stuck with her for much longer" I hear her give a small smirk at the memory. "And you're certainly not here to see me"

"Who'd want to see you?" she says, sitting up fully.

"So that leaves the kid. Don't tell me you and him are all buddied up now. Victims of torture sticking together…"

The mention of her torture seems to stir something in Johanna because she gets up from the table in a flash and stalks over to the counter.

"I told you, I'm just visiting. I just wanted to get away" she snaps.

"Away from who?" I ask, as I retrieve and open another bottle from the cabinet next to her.

"No one….I just needed a break…." Her eyes flash as she speaks and I smirk.

"Whatever you say sweetheart" I say as I take a sip.

And with that she knocks the bottle out of my hand and onto the floor. I tut.

"Temper, Temper"

Johanna raises her hand to slap me but I'm too quick, grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer. She looks shocked that I would even dare to stop her.

"Let go of me, you dick" she snarls.

And what happened next I have no idea, because next thing I know I'm kissing her with a passion. Her hands go to the back of my neck and for a moment I worry that she's trying to strangle me before I feels her hands running throught my hair. I can only enjoy the sensation briefly though because next second she has pulled away.

We stand for a moment in each other's embrace, eyes locked with one another. But her stony look suddenly turns to fear when I run my hand down across her chest and begin to tug up her oversized shirt. I realize why when I see that instead of the smooth, flat stomach Johanna had become so fond of displaying over the years is now rounded and protruding. And it's my turn to look shocked now as the revelation hits me. Someone has knocked up Johanna Mason.

**Cliffhanger, I know. Tell me what you think guys. There won't be any update's for a couple of weeks because I'll be in Greece but please review in the meantime **


	5. Telling

-Katniss's POV

I sent Johanna over to Haymitch's with a loaf of bread this morning after she complained that I was "boring company". I'm really starting to regret my decision of having her stay here. But Peeta seems pleased to see her again, and after everything he's been through he deserves to be happy. Even if that means me spending the next few days listening to Johanna complain about the colour of our walls and how ugly Buttercup is. Frankly, I can't stand the animal myself but part of me now feels the need to defend him against insults and kicks (which have on occasion come from Haymitch). It's what Prim would have wanted.

Would she laugh if she could see us now? To see me sitting in the couch, Buttercup's curled on my lap. Can she see us now?

The front door swings open and Haymitch half walks half stumbles in.

"Run out of drink again have you?" I say irritably. I almost never see him unless he's after our food or drink supply. Peeta visits him most days, but I can't bring myself to do so. I think I'm still mad at him. In fact, I'm still mad at everyone-except Peeta of course….and maybe Buttercup.

"Where's the boy?" he asks gruffly. I can see Johanna hovering on the porch outside, her arms crossed. She looks very much like a small child who has just been told off.

"He's upstairs, just getting ready to go the bakery" I say, standing up from my seat. Buttercup hops off my lap and totters out the open back door. He generally avoid Haymitch, I think the smell of alcohol wards him off.

"Well he's going to be delayed" says Haymitch. "Mason's got something she has to say"

Johanna shoots him a glare from the porch.

"Get in here" he says with a jerk of his head. She storms in, closing the door behind her.

"I don't know why you're yelling at me" she snaps just as Peeta comes downstairs looking as confused as I probably do.

"What's going on?" he asks, pausing at the foot of the stairs.

Haymitch turns to Johanna.

"Tell them" he says, as her eyes flash dangerously.

"Tell us what?" I ask. What the hell is going on here?

"Nothing" snaps Johanna defensively. Haymitch, meanwhile, has turned his attentions to our kitchen cupboards, rummaging in them for the bottles of liquor. He hands me one, muttering "You're gonna need it".

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks Johanna quietly. He looks genuinely worried. I am too, though I'm more confused than anything else.

"I'm fine" she says determinedly, but then her voice begins to falter slightly. "I'm just…a bit….just a little bit…."

"What?" I ask, stepping towards Johanna.

"Pregnant" she finishes.

And the bottle that was in my hand drops onto the floor, shattering.

**I'll try and update more quickly next time guys. Sorry for the long wait and thanks for your comments and support : )**


	6. The Victor's Child

_Pregnant_

Peeta is the first to react, though he does not do so well

"What!" he stammers "You're…what?"

"The girl's been knocked up" says Haymitch, taking a swig from his bottle. My mind is still buzzing. _Pregnant ._Buttercup had come back in to investigate the sound of my bottle smashing and was now lapping up the spilled substance at my feet. I guess he isn't repelled by alcohol after all.

"You're having a baby?" Peeta asks Johanna after a few moments of collectively stunned silence.

""Well…that's generally what knocked up means brainless" she says with a sigh.

"Conradu…" Peeta begins as he goes to hug her, but he is cut off by me suddenly coming back to my senses.

"Who's the father?" I ask bluntly, stopping Peeta mid hug. Johanna fixes me with a slight glare over the abruptness of my question.

_Like she has any right to judge someone over bluntness._ I think.

"This guy from District 4" she says, running her hand absently through her hair, now avoiding my gaze.

"You never told me you were seeing anyone" says Peeta with a small laugh, hugging her. Johanna just hangs limply in his arms. This situation has made him way to over excited, just like he gets any time the subject of babies or children comes up- which isn't often as those are a couple of the many subjects I like to avoid. He wants kid's, I don't. We've been through it all before.

"How long have you been together?" Peeta asks.

"We're not" Johanna replies casually. He releases her with an embarrassed "Oh".

"He's not going to be in the kid's life" she continues, looking down at her stomach- then adds "And neither am I".

If I'd had another bottle in my hand I would have dropped that one on the floor too. Even Haymitch looks shocked at this confession. Johanna looks up and catches sight of our reactions, raising her eyebrows as though daring us to judge her. A deafening silence has crept into the room.

"Why not?" Peeta asks her after a moment. His giddiness from earlier has most definitely disappeared now. Johanna, on the other hand, gives a small bitter laugh.

"Well I'm not exactly the most maternal type am I?" she asks.

"Well…no" Peeta admits "But still…" She cuts him off

"Listen, the kid's already going to have it bad enough inheriting my temper. I don't want to fuck it up anymore by actually raising it".

"But…you're helping Annie raise her baby" I tell her.

"Exactly" she says "I've already got one baby to look after, and Finn's growing up to be as much of a handful as his father. I can't raise this one too" Johanna runs her hand over her stomach as she speaks. I can see now that it's slightly rounded. How could I not have noticed before?

"You could try" says Peeta. The tone of his voice startles me a little. It's accusing, and so unlike him. Johanna's eyes flash again as she turns to him, beginning to retort but he cuts her off.

"You can't just abandon you're child Jo" he snaps.

"Who says I was abandoning it?" Johanna yells back "Once the kid's born I'll make sure it goes somewhere nice. There's bound to be some family who'll want to raise a Victor's baby"

"You can't just do that!"

"Why not? Why can't I? The kid will be better off anyway"

"That baby deserves to know it's real mother Johanna. It deserves to be loved…"

"Well you know what Mellark? When you and Everdeen pop out some little mockingkay's of your own then you can make sure _they_ are loved". Peeta looks on the verge of tears now.

"If I was lucky enough to have my own child, I would make sure it was loved. I would never just abandon my child. How could you Jo…"

"Fine then" she snaps, her voice echoing around the room "You raise the kid then, if your such a model parent"

"Maybe I will" he says.

And now it's Johanna's turn to look shocked.


	7. Rain and Rubble

r

It's later, much later, I find myself sitting in the ruins of my old house in the Seam. Most of District 12 was rebuilt after the war, but the far end of the Seam lies untouched. There are fewer citizens here in 12 now than there were, and many preferred to move into the refurbished merchants home's in the town rather than return to the grey, ashy hovels in the Seam where so many had spent the previous years starving to death.

My house is nothing but a pile of rubble, the bases of the walls and rooms still partially visible. I come here often when I need to breathe. I would've gone to the woods instead but its cold today, drizzly. Not good hunting weather. Bedside's, I left by bow at home anyway.

I'd left the house about an hour ago. I couldn't take any more of Johanna's pregnancy, Haymitch's unhelpful inputs or Peeta's longing for a child. After he'd offered to raise the baby he'd turned to me. Pleaded, and tried to persuade. "I know we decided against children but….." and "We can't just leave the baby to strangers. And best of all "We could be a family".

I thought we were a family now. Me and him…..and Haymitch and even Buttercup. And that was more of a family than I ever thought I'd want. But now I had to include this baby. And Johanna…surely she'd want to see the child at some point. More visits….

The worst part was that I knew he really did want to raise Johanna's baby. I knew how happy it would make him. I'd already denied Peeta children of his own, and now I was denying him the chance to be a father again.

"_Just think about it Katniss, please"_

I had thought about it. I'd spent nights lying awake turning the idea of parenthood over in my head. I couldn't be a mother. Even before the Games I'd never wanted kids. And now I was surer than ever. I'd already raised Prim only to have her taken away from me. I can't go through that again

"_Just think about it…."_

"Wow, this place is even nicer than your one in the Victor's Village"

I look up. It's Johanna. She didn't say a word after Peeta's outburst. She'd simply sat on the couch and stared out the window while my husband pleaded with me. Despite her comment she looks uncomfortable. Maybe it's due to the light rain that's beginning to fall. Or maybe it's because she feels guilty over turning up uninvited out of the blue, announcing her unexpected pregnancy and just generally turning my somewhat settled life upside down. It could be either one.

"Mind if I join you?" she asks in a quieter voice.

"Actually I was just about to head back" I say, standing up.

"Good, he's been worried about you" I'm assuming 'he' means Peeta; it's unlikely that either Haymitch or Buttercup would be particularly concerned by my absence.

Johanna and I fall into step beside each other as we begin our walk back to the Victor's Village. A thought occurs to me.

"How did you know where I was?" I ask her.

"I didn't, why do you think it took me about an hour to find you?" This surprises me.

"You came after me?"

"Peeta was going to, but I figured you're kind of pissed at him for turning all broody so I said I would find you. Then after I got outside I realised you're probably pissed at me too".

Well, she's not wrong. But I don't want to tell her that. Not now when's she's spent all this time looking for me, in the rain no less. And walking next to her now I notice for the first time that she looks scared. So instead I shrug and say

"It's been an eventful day, that's all". She doesn't buy it though.

"You can admit it; you'd rather I was never here"

"No of course I…."

"I shouldn't have come" Johanna says, stopping in her tracks. We're just at the edge of the Victor's Village. I stop with her, and decide to drop my pretences. Bluntness rarely seems to bother Johanna anyway.

"Why did you?" I ask.

"I just had to get away for a bit. Every time I looked at Finn I felt guilty, and Annie was always giving me pieces of advice about pregnancy and saying I should tell the kid's father and…

"I thought you told him" I say. She'd said that hadn't she? That the father didn't want to be involved.

"….I did…Yeah, I told him….but like I said neither of us want to be parents, or to be together. I just couldn't deal with staying there anyone and the first place I though of going was here….I guess I should've thought before barging into your life huh?"

Standing here on the edge of the Victor's Village I consider for the first time how Johanna must be feeling. She didn't want to be a parent anymore than I did, but now she had little choice. Would I give my child away if I were in her situation? No, I decide, because my baby would have Peeta as a father and as much as I fear motherhood I could never take his own child from him. But Johanna's baby, it had no father to care for it. It would grow up in some orphanage, or with some other family having no idea about where he or she had come from. In that second, I knew what to do.

"Johanna" I say "Are you sure you can't keep this baby?"

She nods, as the rain begins to fall heavier.

"We'll do it, Peeta and I will raise it for you"

**Hey guys, Thanks for reading. I'm not too confident about these last few chapters. I know it's kind of hard to tell at this point in the story but do you like where this is going? Is there anything particular you would like to see in the next few chapters? I would really appreciate the feedback on this. Thanks xxx**


	8. Stairway To Happiness

**Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and compliments. I'm gonna try hard to get this fic finished before summer is over.**

-Peeta's POV

It's been a week since Johanna's revelation, since we said we would keep the baby, and I can't help but feel that Katniss has been avoiding me. I would never have opted to raise the baby if she hadn't supported the idea, but she seemed so sure when she told me this was what she wanted to do. I just can't help but feel that I pressured her into it though. I don't know what happened that night she ran out, or what Johanna said to her, but I do know Katniss and she doesn't just change her mind like that. She never wanted children and despite the fact that I do-that I would love to be a father-I love Katniss more. Me and her, that's all that matters.

But this baby needs a home, and a family to care for it. This is my chance to be a father. And Katniss says she's behind me, that she wants this family too. So why don't I feel happier? Maybe it's because I have a sneaking suspicion that my wife pretends to be asleep at night when I come to bed, that she wants to avoid talking to me.

I seek her out one evening, when Johanna has gone to bed and Haymitch has passed out on our front porch. She's sitting on the staircase, Buttercup's head in her lap. They make such a strange, peaceful pair that I almost don't want to disturb them.

"Hey" I say. Katniss's eye's snap up as she notices me. I sit down beside her, scooping Buttercup into my arms.

"You're mad at me, real or not real?"

"Not real" she says "Everything's fine".

"Then how come we've barely spoken to each other for days?" I ask.

"We spoke this morning….." says Katniss, uncomfortably.

"No, we had a conversation over whether or not I should make pancakes for breakfast" I tell her "And Johanna was there too so it doesn't count. I mean, when was the last time you and I really spoke to each other?"

She thinks for a moment.

"The night Johanna arrived" she says. "I guess we really haven't had much time for talking since."

"Are you mad at her?" I ask.

"What? No….this isn't her fault…." Katniss shifts uncomfortably and the staircase creaks.

"What isn't her fault?" I ask her gently. I release Buttercup so I can put my arm around her.

"My life" she says quietly, and I'm not really sure how to reply. I'd thought she was happy, or at least as happy as she ever could be again. I'd thought we were happy…

"Do you wish you'd done something differently?" I ask tentatively. Maybe she'd happier away from here…..maybe she'd have preferred to be with Gale…

"No" says Katniss "I don't. It's not like I could fix anything"

"I love you" she says, so reassuringly that I'm almost certain she could here my thoughts before. "I promise I do….it's just, everything seems such a mess and now we're bringing a baby into it all…."

Katniss sigh's and leans back into my arms, as I hold her tighter.

"We're doing the right thing aren't we?" she asks after a few seconds.

"Only if you want this" I tell her.

"I am" she says "You want this, and after everything all I want is your happiness. So for you, I can want this. I can want our family".

"So are you no longer avoiding me then?" I ask her with a small smile. She turns her head upwards to face me.

"Sorry…it's just you seemed so happy about the baby and I still wasn't sure. I didn't want to…"

"Dampen the mood?" I finish for her.

"Yeah…I feel like I do that a lot to you. That I bring you down, you know" Katniss tries to slide away from me but I hold her tighter.

"I am never happier than when I'm with you" I tell her, taking the side of her face in my hand "And the fact that you're willing to do this, to be a mother, for me just makes me love you all the more"

I lean in and our lips meet.

"I think I'm ready to go to bed now" Katniss says, standing up and taking a hold of my hand. "Want to join me?"

"Well we share a bed anyway don't we, so…..Oh, I get it" I say with a wink, which makes her laugh. "To bed it is then"

Katniss turns to go upstairs but I stop her, still holding onto her hand.

"What?" she asks

"I was gonna carry you up bridal style" I say sheepishly "But since we're on the stairs that doesn't seem too safe"

Katniss leans in and kisses me softly.

"I'll tell you what" she says "Once we're up you can carry me to the bed. Deal or no deal".

"Deal" I say, rushing up the stairs two at a time "Race You" I call back to her.

And now, it seems like I can finally be happy. That is, until the phone rings the next morning….

**Ooohh, cliffhanger. Don't worry though, the next update isn't far away : )**

**Another surprise visitor will be turning up in the next chapter, any guesses who it might be?**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	9. Early Bird

I stumble downstairs at the crack of dawn. Usually Buttercup acts as my alarm clock, he has an uncanny knack of jumping on the bed at precisely 8 o clock every morning, but his morning, the ringing of the phone woke me first.

The sun has barely risen, and I trip over one of the kitchen chairs in the dark before fumbling with the phone. Eventually, I manage to hold the receiver up to my ear.

"Hello?" I yawn. Who calls at this time in the morning? The only person who ever really calls is Johanna, and she's asleep right now in our guest bedroom. So who's calling us? I get my answer when a loud, perky voice sounds through the phone.

"Peeta! Darling! How are you?"

"Effie?" I say drowsily "….What time is it?"

Last I heard, she was back in the Capitol-doing charity work for orphans of the rebellion.

"It's 6:20" she chirps. "Did I wake you? I've always been an early riser. Early bird catches the worm as they say"

"What?" I mumble, rubbing my eyes and yawning again.

"Oh, I don't actually catch worms dear. Could you imagine? And think of the state my nails would be in…"

"Effie" I say, now slightly more awake. "Not that it isn't nice to hear from you, I mean, I'd love to talk at any other time but is there something I can help you with?"

"Well, I just thinking I might pop down to District 12 for a few days. It would be so nice to have a visit and a cosy catch up, and I thought I might help you get ready for the baby when it comes"

"You know about the baby?" I ask, as I hear a creak at the top of the stairs. It seems I wasn't the only one woken by the phone.

"Of course" says Effie "Haymitch mentioned it the other day while we were chatting"

Johanna comes into the kitchen, wrapped in a housecoat.

"Who is it?" she whispers

"Effie" I say, as Johanna takes a seat at the table.

"Bitch woke me up" she mutters.

I turn my attention back to 'the bitch'.

"You spoke to Haymitch?" I ask her.

"Hasn't he mentioned it? I usually call once a month to check up on you all."

I feel a rush of affection towards Effie; even Katniss's mother hasn't checked up on us that often.

"I must say" Effie continues "I am so happy for you and Katniss. I only wish I'd made it to the wedding ceremony…"

"Well it wasn't so much a ceremony" I begin to say, but it doesn't seem Effie will be finished anytime soon.

"And now you're going to have a baby. How marvellous. I was thrilled when I heard. Of course, the circumstances are a little unorthodox. Though, I must admit I wasn't at all surprised to find out that Johanna Mason was having a child out of wedlock. Everyone always knew that girl was headed for trouble. But you two are such saints for taking in the child! What an adorable little family you'll make"

"Um….thanks" I say, praying to god that Johanna can't hear Effie's side of the conversation. She already has her labelled as a bitch; she doesn't need to hear that all of Panem apparently had low expectations for her.

"Anyhow" continues Effie "I was thinking I would arrive on Saturday. How would that be?" She doesn't wait for an answer "Oh, I'll bring along some presents for the new arrival. And how about I….."

"Saturday would be lovely Effie" I tell her for no other reason than to get her to stop talking. Wait, what did I just say?

"Splendid!" exclaims Effie. "I'll be there around lunchtime. We can have afternoon tea!"

"Great…" I say" Well….um…see you then".

"Goodbye for now darling, and give my love to…"

I hang up before she finishes. Johanna's been sitting at the table, watching me intently. She doesn't appear to have heard anything Effie said, thank god, because the second I put the phone down she asks:

"What did she want?"

"Effie's going to come and visit for a few days" I say as I take another seat at the table.

"Effie was your escort right? The one with the pink hair?" I nod.

"When's she coming?"

"Saturday"

"Haymitch will love that" smirks Johanna "He used to complain about her all the time in the mentor's room"

"Well apparently they've been having monthly phone calls, which he never mentioned at all"

"Kinky" says Johanna, raising her eyebrows, and we both laugh.

"How're you doing?" I ask her.

"Ok I guess" she says, rubbing her hand over her stomach. She's five and a half months pregnant now. "I mean, I'm a little tired but that's because I usually sleep on my stomach. The baby's kind of ruled that out now though."

"Are you ok?" she asks after a few moments.

"Me? I'm fine…I'm better than fine actually. I think Katniss is definitely ok with the whole baby thing now"

"Well that makes to of you" says Johanna quietly.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"I just….you know what, never mind…I'm doing the right thing"

She stands up, and pushes the chair back into the table.

"Johanna, you can talk to me…" I say as she starts to leave the room. She stops and turns to me.

"You'll make my baby happy won't you?" she asks, seeming so unlike herself.

"Of course" I tell her "Whatever it takes".

"Then that's all that matters" says Johanna. "I'm going back to bed"

She turns and goes upstairs, leaving me alone and confused.


	10. Those Summertime Blues

**Hey everyone, quick question for you:**

**Which version of this fanfic do you want? The shorter, simple version with just the basic story or the longer drawn out version which might get a little complicated and go on for ages? Both versions have the same outcome and ending, just the longer version feature's more character development.**

**Anyway, I'll let you get back to the story. xxx**

Katniss's POV-

I wake up on Thursday morning to the smell of fresh pancakes and the news that Effie is coming to visit. I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I'm actually looking forward to seeing her again, especially after hearing that she's been calling to check up on us. Effie may be pushy, over-enthusiastic and a little too 'Capitol', but underneath it all, she does have a sweet nature and I really have missed her.

Haymitch is less than pleased with the news of her visit.

"Why does that prissy pain in the ass want to come here? Isn't she worried she'll get coal dust on her shoes?"

He shuts up a little after Peeta mentions that we know about his monthly chats with Effie, and instead settles for sitting in one of our armchairs grumbling for the rest of the day.

When Johanna doesn't come downstairs for breakfast, I ask Peeta if I should go and check on her, but he assures me that she's probably just sleeping in. Apparently, Peeta says, pregnancy makes you tired. I have know idea how he knows these things.

Johanna only wanders downstairs after Peeta has left for the bakery, and spends the day much like Haymitch does-sitting in a chair and hardly speaking. Around noon I go hunting, catch two rabbits, and return two hours later to find that they haven't moved. After a few minutes of trying to persuade them to take a walk with me (for which I receive two glares and a hand gesture from Haymitch) I go with the phrase "If you can't beat them, join them" and sit down on the vacant couch. We stay like this until Peeta gets home, when I go to cook one of the rabbits for dinner and Johanna wanders back upstairs.

Friday passes very much in the same way, except Haymitch chooses to drink instead of sit quietly which results in him sitting on a rock in our front yard singing some song about a donkey.

Soon enough, it's Saturday and Effie is no doubt on her way.

A hung-over Haymitch comes in while Peeta, Johanna and I are still eating breakfast.

"I'm heading to the train station" he says, snatching up the muffin on Peeta's plate.

"Effie's just called to say she's almost here" he continues, taking a bite.

"Give us 5 minute's and we'll be there too" I tell him, clearing my plate from the table.

"You better, otherwise I might just push her onto the tracks" grunts Haymitch as he heads back out the door.

True to our word, we wander to the train station after clearing up the breakfast things. The last thing I want is Effie chastising me over my housekeeping skills. Peeta and I hold hands as we make our way through the town, with Johanna lagging slightly behind. The summer sun shines down as we stroll through the town centre, past the new Hob where trading is no longer illegal, past the bakery which Peeta has closed for the day, past the schoolyard where Peeta first fell in love with me, where the baby will attend when it's old enough.

Eventually we reach the train station. The train is already in the station when we arrive. It only comes to District 12 a few times a week, transporting good, necessities and today, Effie. But she's nowhere to be seen.

Further along the platform, we see Haymitch. Only he's not alone. Talking to him is a pretty blonde woman, who was wearing a simple lilac floral dress and was laughing. Haymitch on the other hand looks grim as ever.

"Who's that?" Johanna asks, speaking for the first time that morning. In fact, she's been uncharacteristically quiet for a few days. I'm about to ask her if she's ok when I

catch a proper glimpse of the blonde woman's face.

"It's Effie" I say. The other two look at me like I've gone mad.

"That's not Effie" says Peeta, but just at that moment the woman takes a small handkerchief out of her purse, wets it on her tongue and begins to dap at one of the many stains on Haymitch's shirt.

"Oh my god, you're right" says Peeta, looking stunned. War has made a big, big change to Effie Trinket. In appearance anyway.

"Darlings!" she gasps when we get closer and she see's us, pushing past Haymitch to pull Peeta and I into a tight embrace. Close up, and without all her make-up she's much younger than I thought. In her early thirties maybe.

"Effie" I say, as she eventually releases us "You look….different…You look good." I add quickly

"Well I made a few changes after I started my charity work. After seeing how much poverty there was in the districts I simply couldn't justify spending the money I did on make-up and clothes. I think it rather suits me, don't you?"

"You look great" Peeta tells her, but she dismisses him with a wave of her hand.

"Oh enough about me, what about you two. I can't believe you're going to be parents. You must be getting so excited!"

"We are" I say with a smile , and without thinking about it. Are we? Peeta certainly is. Am I? I haven't really thought about it. I only just got on board with the idea. Excitement hasn't come into it yet. But I won't let that show. I'll be damned if I let me lack of enthusiasm get in the way of Peeta's happiness. So I keep smiling as we all walk back to the Victor's Village.


	11. Muffins and Mockingjays

"Can I just say" Effie says as she takes a bite of her cucumber sandwich "How wonderful I think it is that you're giving over you're baby to these two"

This comment is directed at Johanna, who smiles sweetly at Effie and says

"Well, you have your charity work, I have mine"

Haymitch is on the other side of me, picking through his cucumber sandwich as though he expects to find poison inside.

Peeta is in the kitchen, fetching a tray of his homemade muffins and biscuits. When he returns, Effie startles us all by loudly clapping her hands together and exclaiming

"I've only just remembered what I was going to ask!"

"And what's that Effie?" Peeta asks as he sets the tray down, before sitting next to me on the sofa.

"What are you going to name the baby?"

There is an awkward pause. We haven't thought of any names yet, or at least I haven't. Peeta probably has though.

"We're not really sure yet" I say, but Effie waves her hand at me dismissively.

"Nonsense, the baby has to have a name"

"As long as I'm not giving birth to little Mockingjay Mellark I don't really care" says Johanna.

"Well it's not due for another three and a half months…." Peeta begins.

"Darling that time will just fly by before you know it" says Effie, as she fumbles inside her purse. After a few seconds, she produces a lilac sheet of note-paper.

"Now I've come up with a few suggestions that I think you might just like"

Haymitch lets out an audible groan, which he then manages to turn into a yawn.

"How about Clarabelle?" says Effie

"How about no?" suggests Johanna. I shoot her a grateful look. Effie, unperturbed continues.

"What about Lavender?"

"Lavender sounds like a whore's name" says Johanna absently. Effie stiffens in her chair.

"Lavender was my grandmother's name"

"Well…." begins Johanna, but Peeta immediately cuts her off.

"You know what name I've always like?" he says.

"Muffin Mellark?" Johanna suggests with a small grin. Effie snaps her fingers.

"That's a wonderful name!" she trills "Ooohh, I like that. Muffin Mellark…..it really has a nice ring to it"

"Actually I was going to say Roseanna, but we can keep Muffin in mind" says Peeta good-humouredly.

"What if it's a boy?" I ask.

"Boys can be Muffin's too" says Johanna while Effie nods in agreement, oblivious to the sarcasm.

"How about….." Haymitch begins, and I can't help but worry that he's going to suggest something like "Whiskey" or "Scotch" as a baby name. Thankfully though, he doesn't.

"How about they just name the kid once it's born?"

Effie starts to protest but Haymitch cuts her off, standing up and taking the lilac list out of Effie's hand. He reads it as he continues to speak.

"The worlds not going to end if everything isn't planned, I mean, this kid wasn't planned for starters. You don't need to go off giving it some fruity name like Coco or Fantasy. I once knew a stripper named Fantasy for fucks sake."

A quick glance around the room tells me that Effie is about to burst into tears, and Johanna is about to laugh. I shoot a quick, worried glance at Peeta. He seems to hear my plea.

"Umm….my spinach puffs should be ready by now…Haymitch, come and help me"

"What the fuck is a spinach puff?" Haymitch asks, before Peeta is grabbing him by the arm and leading him out the room.

There is an awkward pause in which Effie recovers herself from having her name choices insulted. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, and Johanna gazes around the room as though looking for something to say.

"So….." I say, when the silence becomes unbearable. "What kind of charity work do you do Effie?"

"Oh, I mostly just travel around the districts, visiting the unfortunate and then reporting back about what could be done to help."

"Sounds…interesting" I say, weakly.

"Well it gives me something to do dear. Bedside's, it means I get to travel a lot. Why, just last month I was in District 2. You should see the memorial statue they've built. What a sight!...And I spoke to your cousin!" Effie says as though she's only just remembered.

"He's not really my…."

"He didn't have much to say though. A man of few words. Then again, with that face who needs words right?".

I'm not really sure what to say. I never am when it comes to Gale. Not that I've heard much about him. Just that he lives and works in two and now apparently that he is a man of few words.

Another awkward pause settles in the room, which Johanna breaks after a few moments.

"Not that this hasn't been the most fun I've ever, ever had" she says, mimicking Effie's Capitol accent. "-but I think I'm going to go and call Annie. It's been a while since I checked up on her and she's probably terribly worried"

"Good for you dear" says Effie, again unaware of Johanna's sarcasm "Someone should make sure that poor girl is looking after herself."

When they don't come back after 20 minutes, it appears that Peeta has taken Haymitch back home. He is probably now in the process of making sure there aren't any knives or anything potentially dangerous lying around. Probably in case Haymitch gets any ideas about murdering Effie in her sleep. It's just then that a though occurs to me.

"Effie, where are you staying tonight?"

My question seems to surprise her.

"Why, right here dear. You don't expect me to live with that drunken brute do you?"

"Of course not" I say "You can stay in one of our guest rooms."

I help Effie bring her bags upstairs, and show her to my mothers old room. I have no qualms about her staying there. It's Prim's room that remains closed off, though I suspect Buttercup sometimes sneaks in through the window. As I leave Effie to settle in to her room I can't help but think that between her and Johanna I am now running some sort of hotel for war survivors.

I'm in the middle of this thought , and on the middle of the stairs when, from the kitchen below I hear Johanna's voice in a whisper.

"Can't you just do that?"

She's still talking with Annie on the phone. Why is she whispering?

"You have to…..it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't!"

I'm about to leave her in peace when I hear her raise her voice slightly:

"Annie please…just don't say anything…. You can't. Just leave it. …..I'll see you in a little while ok? Ok, say hello to Finn for me. Yeah, bye"

I hear her hang up the phone, and her footsteps heading towards the living area. I can't go back upstairs because the top stair creaks. The only way is down, so I pretend that I'm just descending the stairs as she comes into the room.

"How's Annie?" I ask causally

"She's fine…listen I think I'm going to go back to four for a little bit."

"Ok, sure" I say, but inside I'm wondering what the hell is going on.

"Just for a few days." Johanna tells me " I'm running out of things to wear here, so I might as well go and get Annie's old pregnancy things. Bedside's I kind of miss it"

I nod understandingly.

"I'm gonna go pack some things ok"

I hear Johanna's bedroom door close just as Peeta re-enters the house.

"Everything ok?" he asks, seeing the look on my face.

"There's something really weird going on" I say, and to my surprise his reply comes

"I know".

**Ohhh, what's going to happen? And what do you think the baby should be called? I'm kinda leaning towards Roseanna because the 'Rose' part comes from Primrose and the 'Anna' part comes from Johanna, but what do you guys think? Is there anything you'd like to see happen at some point in the story?**

**Your reviews are what keep me writing so keep it up. Thanks xxx**


	12. Tell Me Over Tea

Alannah

That's the name I like. After thinking it over I finally decided. That's the name I want my daughter to have. If it's a boy, well, I've also got a name in mind for him too. I did like Peeta's suggestion of Roseanna, but thinking on it later I realised that I didn't want to use any name with the word 'Rose' in it. I haven't discussed the names with Peeta yet, but I've got a feeling he'll like them. We didn't really have time to discuss names, not with everything else we had to talk about.

We waited until everyone else was in bed before we spoke. That's when I told him about Johanna's phone call to Annie, and he told me about Johanna's strange behaviour a few days earlier. He'd put it down to pregnancy hormones, but now that we've put the pieces together it does seem that something strange is going on.

That night, I dream of a little girl who looks like Johanna, with the same huge dark eyes. I'm sitting in the woods, on the rock where I used to meet Gale when she comes to me and sits on my lap, curling herself into my arms. I feel so happy in that moment that I close my eyes, and lay back with her huddled to me. Then suddenly, my little girl stands up, and is watching the sky with those dark eyes. It's just at that second when I hear it. The beeping. The familiar sound that so often haunts my nightmare's. I try to scream out the little girl as the silver parachute falls into her hands. But it's too late. There is a crash, and a cry then everything goes black….

And then, I'm awake, and the crash has come from downstairs. Peeta is still asleep beside me. I let him stay that way as I slip on my housecoat and head downstairs, careful not to wake him.

Johanna's large holdall bag sits by the door, looking full. Johanna herselfis in the kitchen, pouring water into the kettle. I see her wince slightly as a drop trickles onto her arm.

"What are you doing up?" I ask quietly so as not to wake everyone.

"Tea?" she asks, not turning around.

"No thanks" I say. Is it normal to offer people tea at 5 in the morning?

"What are you doing up?" I ask again, louder this time.

"I've got to leave early, haven't I? The train passes through here at quarter past 6."

She's right. The train may only stop in District 12 once a week but it does pass by fairly often on its way to other districts.

"Why is it you're going again?" I ask, casually. If Johanna's going soon, now many be my only chance for a while to find out what's going on.

"I'm going to get Annie's old pregnancy clothes, these one's barely fit anymore"

She's right again, the blue shirt she's wearing over her jeans is fitted tightly over her baby bump, the buttons strained- which is saying something because the shirt looks like it's way too big for her to start with. Almost like…

"Johanna, is that a man's shirt you're wearing?"

She looks confused then looks down at her apparel, says:

"Oh yeah, it's Finnick's" then carries on with heating the kettle as though it's perfectly normal to be wearing someone else's (dead) husband's shirt.

"So why do you have it?" I ask her. I knew they'd been friends but this is more than a little strange. She leaves the kettle to boil and sits at the kitchen table, the chair pushed back slightly to accommodate the baby bump.

"After he…..didn't come back, I went to his old room in the Capitol and cleared out his things, threw out the stuff I knew he'd hated and brought back some things for Annie."

"And you kept his shirt?"

She shrugs.

"Why not? What's wrong with keeping something that reminds you of someone you cared about?"

This I can understand. Prim's bedroom remains untouched, her possessions all sitting neatly just how she would have wanted, just how she left them.

"You really cared about him didn't you?" I ask. Johanna doesn't say anything.

"I mean, taking care of Annie, looking after little Finnick. He'd be so proud of…."

"Did I ever tell you about when I used to be a prostitute?"

Johanna's comment seems to come out of no where.

"Umm, no….sorry. I didn't know" I mumble.

It's true, I didn't. I'd known about Finnick, since he'd broadcast it on TV the whole of Panem knew about that now. But it had simply never occurred to me that Johanna had shared the same fate. After a few seconds when Johanna doesn't speak again I ask

"Does that have to do with you and Finnick?"

I don't really want to know. Whatever happened in the past, I don't want to know. But Johanna seems to be in a sharing mood this morning, and maybe talking with her will help me understand what's going on with her right now.

"Yes, but mostly it's to do with why I can't keep this baby"

Johanna runs her hand over her swollen stomach absently as she speaks.

"Tell me" I say, and our eyes meet.

"It's not a nice story"

"I didn't think it would be". Inside, I'm panicking. Why am I down here? Peeta's better with emotional things than I am. And he knows her better, what their shared history of torture. They've bonded better. And I really don't want to hear this. But I will.

When the tea is ready, Johanna and I sit at the table-steaming mugs in hand.

"You don't need to know the details" she says, and I'm thankful.

"But what you do need to know is that this….." she runs her hand over her stomach again"….isn't my first pregnancy".

Johanna must have registered the look of shock on my face because then she asks

"Will I keep going?"

I nod, and she continues….

**I love leaving it on a cliffhanger, but I know it's really irritating for you guys. Never fear though, the next chapter will come soon. I'm also starting work on a new fic, the first chapter of which will be up soon.**

**Also, if anyone's interested, the theme song for this fic would be "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash. It really kind of sums up Johanna's side of the story.**

**Plus, what do you guys think of the name choice?**


	13. My Little Girl

"I was seventeen…" Johanna begins, seeming to relish in the fact that I am uncomfortable.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was about four months along. Actually, what's weird is that I didn't know about this pregnancy" she indicated her stomach "until I was four months along either. Here's hoping that's where the similarities end"

The light is starting to pour throw the kitchen windows, casting a golden shadow across the table.

"Anyway, I'd finished my first year of mentoring. Some guy from 2 won, Abrax or something. Maybe you remember him. Both my tribute's died in the bloodbath, no surprise there. But it turns out there are other job's for the Victors in the Capitol. You've no idea the amount of money people will spend for a night with a genuine killer. God knows why, I wouldn't pay to sleep with me.

Quite a few people did though, and after a few months of being back in District 7 I realised I was pregnant. I had no idea what to do, I just kind of ignored it. Pretended like nothing was happening."

Though Johanna talks in her usual confident tone, I can tell this upsets her. I turned seventeen shortly after my own games, and I'd faked a pregnancy. If I'd been really pregnant, I don't know what I would have done.

"I went into labour in the Capitol during the Victory tour. Three months early. It's probably because I'd drank my way throught the first few months of being pregnant, before I'd known what was going on."

Johanna pauses for a moment to sweet a strand of hair out of her face. For a moment, I worry that she wants me to say something, and I literally have no idea what to say. I might actually have forgotten how to speak. Johanna hasn't though, and continues with her story.

"Finnick held my hand while I gave birth. I hadn't told him before, that I was….you know. I hadn't told anyone. He held her afterwards, the baby. I didn't get to see her, the doctors had me confined to the bed, some crap about me being too weak. He said she was tiny though, too tiny I kind of wish I'd gotten to see her."

Johanna looks at me with her dark eyes, which look as though they have tears inside them but that may be a trick of the light.

"Maybe if I'd found out sooner she'd have stood a chance. If hadn't spent most nights getting drunk. Finnick sat with me all night in the hospital, after they took her away. He held my hand but I knew he never really forgave me. For killing his baby, for drinking her away. There were….I don't know…about seven other guys who could have been the father, but I knew she was his. He'd said she had his nose."

"Johanna….." my voice comes out a little crackly when I speak "Johanna I am so, so, sorr…"

"It's fine" she cuts me off "Really, I've had years to get over it. And in the long run, it's better things worked out the way they did. I'd make a terrible mother"

"You don't know that" I tell her, as softly as I can.

"That's what Finnick said. That I shouldn't blame myself, and that losing her didn't make me a bad person…and then he turned up the next year with little Annaliese Cresta as his tribute. God, I hated her then, because she made him happy when I all I wanted was for everyone to be as bitter and warped as me. I was almost pleased when she flipped out in the arena, crying and shaking and everything. But then I realised what it was doing to Finnick, I realised that just because my life was messed up it didn't mean everyone's else's had to be the same. So I did what I had to do"

"What did you do?" I ask her, I must admit I'm getting a little caught up in her story.

" I called up the Head Gamemaker and asked him if he'd like to have drinks with me" Johanna says with a sly smile " He was very interested to hear about my ideas to improve the quality of the games, particularly my suggestion about a flood."

"That was you?" I'm a little in awe of Johanna in this moment. Until now I'd thought of her only as loud, bitter and a little bit…to be honest…slutty. Her life and losses before the Quell hadn't occurred to me much.

"Now if I'd had a baby I wouldn't have gone to the games at all, and Annie would never have come out. So in the long run, things did work out for the better I guess. I lost a life, and I saved one" shrugs Johanna.

"Does Annie know about this? What about Finnick did he know?" Johanna shakes her head at me.

"I never told him….and you can't tell Annie. She doesn't know about this, or the baby, or the fact that Finnick and I were anything other than friends. She doesn't have to know. Neither did you really"

"Why did you tell me then?" I question. Outside, I can hear the birds begin to chirp, and my undrunk tea has grown cold in my hands. Johanna shrugs again.

" I don't know" she says. There are a few moments of silence between us and then she says:

" I guess I just need you to understand why I'm doing this, why I'm giving you _this_ baby. I need to be there for Annie, and for Finn. She's struggling by herself. I already messed up on Finnick's first baby, I want Finn to have a good life. And I can't ensure that while raising another baby. I have to do it this way."

Johanna looks at the clock. It's 6:05.

"My train's coming in soon, I should go."

And with that's she gathering up her bag and heading outside

"See you" she says dismissively as she reaches the door.

"Johanna, wait" I say quickly. There's something I have to tell her, something important.

"If the baby's a boy,…..I want to call him Mason"

Johanna gives me a hard look for a moment then says

"Don't"

And with that she's out the door, and on her way.

"Do you want me to walk you to the station?" I ask her, still a little shaken.

"No" Johanna calls without looking back.

It's not until she's gone round the corner and is out of sight that I notice Haymitch sitting in the chair on our front porch.

"You're up early" I say.

"I was coming over to get my daily rations, I reckoned if I came early I would be able to avoid that tube of lipstick you call Effie" he says brusquely, standing up.

"How long have you been out there?" I ask when we're both inside.

"Long enough" he says, and then groans as we hear the sound of Effie's heels on the stairs.


	14. Simply Forever

Peeta's POV-

"That's it!" I hear Effie shriek two days after her arrival, as I come in the front door.

"I'm sorry but I simply cannot stay any longer"

"What's going on?" I ask as I walk into the room. I've just closed the bakery up for the night.

"Haymitch said…" Katniss begins but Effie shrilly cuts her off.

"That drunk…..that scoundrel…had the nerve to tell me that my charity work is a waste of time!"

"Oh…I'm sure he didn't mean…" I start to say.

"Of course he did. He said that people are better of without me poking into their lives. And then…wait until you here this….he asked me if…if….." Effie's voice breaks off in a sob and she throws herself dramatically onto the couch. I look questioningly at Katniss.

"Apparently he asked her if she'd changed her look because she didn't want to scare the District children"

Effie sobs harder at this.

"I'm sorry" I tell her, and I mean it. She may be a little irritating but Effie certainly doesn't deserve to be spoken to like that.

"Do you want me to go speak to him?"

"No" says Effie, sitting up and wiping her eyes. "In fact, I don't think anyone should speak to him for a few days….leave him to reflect on what he's done. He can think on ways to improve his attitude."

Katniss and I exchange a glance. We both know that Haymitch will do neither of these things, no matter how much time we leave him alone for.

"Anyhow" sniffs Effie "It's time I headed off. I've missed out on so much work"

"Are you sure?" I ask her, though I am a little relieved. The house has been slightly crowded with our guests this past while and I'd like to spend some time with Katniss alone before the baby arrives.

""Oh yes." Says Effie, standing up and smoothing out her dress. This one is white with various fruits on it.

"Don't worry though. I'll be back before the baby is born…that is if Johanna comes back at all"

"Johanna will be back in a couple of days" says Katniss firmly. I nod in agreement. I may not know what's going on with Johanna, but I do know for sure that she is coming back.

"Of course she will…..I was only saying" says Effie cheerily, her distress from before having significantly disappeared.

"Now….I must go and pack my things if I want to be on tomorrow mornings train"

"Do you need some help?" Katniss asks as Effie makes her way upstairs.

"Oh, no thank you dear. I have a packing routine that would take simply forever to teach to you. I'll be much quicker by myself."

And with that, Katniss and I are alone.

"Hey" I say, wrapping my arms around her for what seems like the first time in forever.

"Hey" she smiles back at me. I lean in and kiss her lightly.

"We're going to have the house to ourselves for a couple of days" I say against her lips.

"What have you got planned?" my wife asks.

"Oh, I might have a few surprises up my sleeve" I don't, but I'll think of something. Maybe something along the lines of candles and…..

"We'll need to decorate a room for the baby at some point" says Katniss with a smile. And at that point I fall ever more in love with her, and I didn't think that was possible. My Katniss, my wife, is finally excited about the baby. I knew it would take time, but now here we are. Three months to go.

"I figured you could do it, since you're so good at painting" she says.

"Yes! I could paint picture's of cakes on the wall. Or muffins, since that's apparently what we're going to name the baby after" I say with a grin.

"Speaking of names" says Katniss " I've come up with a couple"

"Lets here them then" I tell her, sitting on the arm of the sofa and pulling her close.

"For a girl, I like Alannah" Katniss says. I like it too. It fits. I can already see her in my head.

"And for a boy?" I ask her. Katniss bites her lip before saying-

"Mason….only I told Johanna and she says not to name him that".

"We'll think of something else then" I say softly " She might change her mind though."

Katniss shakes her head.

"We'll think of something else" she repeats, then kisses me. All too soon, she pulls away.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Yeah…I'm going to take Haymitch some food and drink"

"Why?"

Katniss leans in and kisses me again.

"Because" she says "If we're going to have the house to ourselves then we don't want him wandering in to get supplies, do we?"

"I brought a few fresh loaves home from the bakery"

Katniss gathers a couple, a long with three bottles of liqueur from our kitchen cabinet and heads out the door, blowing me a kiss as she goes. I pretend to catch it, but I'm glad she doesn't notice because I realise how silly I must look.

Katniss hasn't been gone 5 minutes when I hear a knock at the door. She wouldn't knock, neither would Haymitch. I go to answer and almost collapse when I open to door to find a very pale looking Gale Hawthorn standing in the dark outside.

"Um….Gale…wow….Katniss isn't here…" I manage to get out.

"Actually" he says "I was looking for Johanna"

**I feel kind of evil leaving this cliffhanger…..sorry guys. The next chapter won't be more than a few days away though. As always, please keep reviewing. I love getting reviews, even if you just want to say how much you hate me for leaving cliffies : D**


	15. Dangerous

**Flashback-**

Johanna awoke in a cold sweat. They were in the Capitol; most of the rebels were now living in either the training centre or Snow's mansion. Waiting for the trial to be over, a definite end to the war.

She and Annie were in the old District 4 suite of the training centre, a place Johanna thought she would never be again. She lay shivering in Finnick's old bed, Annie no doubt sleeping peacefully in the room next door. That's all she'd done in the days since the rebellion ended, slept. Slept and cried quietly. And she never spoke, not to anyone. Johanna on the other hand had handled things differently. She'd drank, she'd shouted, she'd yelled at at least 8 different people, and then drank some more. Yet she still woke up every night shaking in bed.

The wooden floor was cold against Johanna's bare feet as she walked to the elevator, pressing the button for the twelfth floor once inside. Katniss had been in seclusion for four days now, and Johanna in her state of insomnia decided it was time she paid her a visit. Not that she would be allowed in to see her. Not that she wanted to anyway.

No, what Johanna really wanted was just to get away from the room that held too many memories. The other floors were full of rebel soldiers and war shaken district citizens. The twelfth floor was the only one that Johanna knew for sure would be empty, save for herself and the trapped Mockingjay.

Once the elevator stopped with a ding, Johanna headed straight across the penthouse to the large glass doors that lead to the balcony. A rush of cool air swept over her as she stood, observing the now less than bright lights of the Capitol. The city, which before had never slept was now eerily silent, save for the wind and the sound of Johanna's own breathing. Without thinking about it she leant further over the railing. From this viewpoint she could see President Snow's mansion, still intact and pristine as ever while the buildings around it lay crumbling and defeated looking. That was where the bombs had gone off, where people had died. Johanna leant further over the rails. She could die right now if she wanted to, if she just leant a little further she could fall. And maybe she did want to, if she just leant a little…..

"That's dangerous"

The voice from behind her made Johanna step back from the side and turn around. It was Hawthorne, looking pale and tired. How long had he been there?

"My life is fucking dangerous" she retorted, before turning back to face the Capitol.

"You know this is an authorised area?" His voice seemed closer behind her now.

"You know I don't care?" snapped Johanna. Gale was now next to her, not looking at her but instead looking out into the distance. She hoped he could see the smouldering remains of his bombsite.

"Do you always do that?" he asked "Twist other people's words into retorts?"

She couldn't help herself.

"Do you always do that? Ask stupid questions?" He almost smiled. So did she

"I'll stop now" she added. They stood quietly for a few moments, the wind whipping around them. Neither of them looked at each other.

"What're you doing up here" Gale asked, after the silence around them had become to hard to deal with.

"Taking a walk…thinking of taking a fall" said Johanna casually, which made him finally turn to face her.

"You were going to jump?"

She shrugged.

"Maybe" There was another empty silence which lasted even longer this time.

"I've thought about it a couple of times" said Gale after a few moments. "I've thought about just ending it…."

"Then why haven't you?" asked Johanna, and then catching sight of his shocked expression added "I don't mean it like that….just…..why haven't you?"

"I dunno" he said, after a pause. "I guess I think it would be a little pointless after everything. After all the fighting…..I don't think the dead would want us to be unhappy, they wouldn't want us to give up"

"Unless they hate us" said Johanna quietly. "Resent us for being alive when they're not, blame us for their deaths…."

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Gale.

"Nothing" she shrugged "Just that if I had died, I'd probably hate everyone who had managed to live. The dead probably hate us."

"I don't think the living are too keen on us either" muttered Gale.

A few light raindrops began to fall from the sky, landing on the two broken survivors on the balcony. Johanna instantly drew back.

"I'm going back inside" she said quickly before pushing past Gale and heading into the District 12 suite. Footsteps behind her and the sound of the door closing let her know that Gale too had chosen to come back in.

"I got cold" said Johanna, by way of explanation. He didn't need to know that she was still freaked out by rain. No one did.

Gale was now hovering beside Katniss's door, his ear pressed to the wood.

"How is she?" Johanna asks quietly. They can both hear the rain falling harder outside now, pounding on the roof. When Gale doesn't answer her Johanna asks:

"Still singing?"

Johanna had heard rumours about this, that Katniss truly had become a mockingjay, and spent her days singing in her little prison. Who ever said that the caged bird doesn't sing?

Gale turned his back to the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the cold floor. He's too tired to care. How long had it been since he'd last slept? Three days maybe? He was vaguely aware that Johanna was now sitting opposite him, legs crossed and looking concerned.

"She's losing it" Gale said after a few moments. His words hung heavily in the air. "I'm losing her."

Johanna stretched her arm out as though to comfort him, but seemed to think better of at the last moment and dropped her arm back at her side.

"You know, I've seen this happen before…with Finnick and Annie" she elaborated as Gale looked confused. Johanna's not really sure why she's telling him all this. It's not something she really wants to talk about, and it's the first time she's said Finnick's name since his death. But it might help Gale, so she takes a deep breath and continues.

"He couldn't deal with it when she was in that arena. I mean, you saw her games, but Finnick was in a much worse state than Annie was. He wouldn't eat or sleep and he barely spoke. He wouldn't even watch the games because he didn't want to see her die. The worst part was that he'd only known her a week"

"How did he deal with it?" Gale voice even sounds tired, as he rubs his eyes.

"He didn't" says Johanna "I did".

Gale yawns loudly at this point. Not because he's board. In fact, this is the most social interaction he's had for days. He's just so damn tired.

Johanna continues "The last time, I was able to solve everything by paying a late night visit to the Head Gamemaker. I got him to send in that flood and Annie was out by the next day. It's amazing what some people will do for sex"

This is all news to Gale. He knew that the Head Gamemaker had been replaced after the Games, everyone knew that. Was this why?

"Why are you telling me this?" he asks sleepily

"My point is, if I could solve this whole mess by sleeping with someone, I'd do it…..I guess some problems aren't as easy to solve as others."

And then, noticing that Gale is half asleep Johanna says

"You should get some rest, soldier. It's time you got off guard duty"

"Don't have a bed" mutters Gale " I don't want to wake my family up by going to their room"

"Go to mine"

Gale looks at her hesitantly

"Go on, you need to sleep. I'll keep watch here"

Gale sighs and stands up wearily.

"Fine, where am I going?"

"Forth floor, the second room on the left"

Gale is halfway out the door, when he remembers to turn back and say

"Thanks Johanna"

"Shut up and get some sleep"

And settling in the comfortable bed on the fourth floor, that's exactly what Gale does.

**This chapter was getting kinda long ( well longer than my other chapters anyway) so I cut it in half. I might save the other section for later on in the story.**


	16. The Sunset

Katniss's POV-

"If you're here to make me go and apologize then forget it"

Haymitch is lying slumped across his sofa, a bottle in his hand. Then again, when does he not have a bottle in his hand? He's most definitely drunk as always.

"I'm just here with some food" I tell him, eager to get back home to Peeta.

"Don't want any" mumbles Haymitch.

"I've got alcohol"

"Give it here" he says, motioning me over with a wave of his hand. I give him a bottle, then go through to the kitchen to dump the rest of the supplies. I do this quickly then walk back throught the living room.

"In a hurry?" Haymitch asks, taking a sip from his newly opened bottle. The old, empty one lies abandoned on the floor along with several others. I shrug at his comment.

"Not rushing back to hear that old bag tell you more make-believe fairy stories about how she's improving the lives of us poor district people, are you?"

"Effie's not that bad" I say in her defence. I don't even have to lie, she really isn't.

Haymitch says nothing and takes another long sip from his bottle.

"She's leaving anyway" I tell him "Tomorrow morning".

"Good, I can't stand the smell of that perfume of hers"

"I'm sure she's not to keen on the way you smell either" I say. He shoots me a look but he knows he can't argue with that.

"I'm going to head back…see you" I'm almost out the door when I hear Haymitch say

"Hey…..what was Johanna talking about earlier" His voice is slightly slurred, so between that and the fact that Johanna hasn't been here for days I'm a little confused.

"When? Do you mean a few days ago- before she left?"

"Yeah" he says, pushing himself up off the couch and stumbling as he does so "Something like that….and then something about a baby. Just a little baby" he says with a hiccough.

Oh no, that was a conversation I had no intention of ever discussing again. It had been awkward enough to hear it, then for me to repeat it to Peeta. I really don't want to go through the details again.

"She was just talking about what it will be like when the baby is born"

That's a terrible lie, but I was caught of guard. Even Haymitch, who is so drunk his speech no longer makes sense, doesn't seem to believe me.

"No…." he slurs, swaying slightly "No because this kid was a little baby….and she said it was her fault…..was it her fault?"

"How about…." I think fast "How about Johanna tells you all about the baby when she comes back". She probably won't want to, but Haymitch is unlikely to remember anything I've said in the morning. Right now, he's shaking his head at me.

"No, she'll lie. She always lies…you know that"

That I don't have answer to, and no amount of fast thinking will can help me come up with him. So instead I say

"Get some rest, sleep the drink off" and leave, eager to get home.

It's still fairly light outside, it being summer and all. The Victor's Village seems eerily lit by the setting sun as I make my way home, with the trees and buildings casting ghostly shadows across the ground. It's not until I'm in the front yard that I notice Peeta standing on the porch, looking wary. A flood of panic sets in me and I'm not even sure why. Just the look on his face….

"Wha….." The word isn't even out of my mouth when he gives me an anxious look and says

"You'd better come inside"

So, with my heart pounding in my chest, I do.

**Pretty short chapter I know. The next one should be good though, unless I decide to post another flashback next. I love every review I get, so thanks to all of you for doing so. Keep it up : )**

**xx**


End file.
